Wise Friendships = Good Medicine

Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.  ­—Proverbs 12:18

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

As I’m writing these blogs and contemplating this theme on gaining wisdom, I have noticed an interesting phenomenon.  The topics that deal with relationships are the ones that are the well-received.  In thinking about where we as women find our strength and wisdom OR our foolishness, it often rests in our relationships with others.  So it’s no wonder the topics on relations are the ones that are the most popular!

In a previous blog I discussed fleeing from foolish relationships.   But this month I spent time in God’s word exploring and reflecting on what our healthy and wise relationships should look like.   I discovered it’s much simpler than it is complicated—it’s kind words, a shared laugh, and simply a smile.  These healing behaviors are found in solid, wise friendships.  I can recognize these wise friendships because these relationships leave me feeling whole and joyful instead of feeling fractured, crushed, and/or bitter.  These friends help cultivate the Fruit of the Spirit in me (Galatians 5:22-23).

This past weekend I had one of those simple encounters with a friend.  I poured out my soul on something I was going through to a friend—and in return I received her smile, her “hang in there”, and then a few laughs, mutually finding the silliness in the situation. There is simplicity in wise friendships, and it’s simply—joy.

A cheerful look brings joy to the heart.  —Proverbs 15:30

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. —1 Thessalonians 5:11

Dr. Beth Ackerman is the Associate Dean, School of Education, at Liberty University. To learn more about Liberty University, click here.

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  1. 2 years ago
    Becky says

    I have had this kind of friendship,but no more. The friends I have had do not have time either because of work or because we no longer have anything in common. I have discussed this with other people that are somewhat supportive, and I decided that I didn’t care anymore. I had allowed for to long for qthers to hurt my feelings and response, “it’s ok. I understand. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Not anymore. I care! It does hurt! Not even my own family calls to check-up on me. So friends. HA! No more pain…., but the pain of not having a close friend is even more painful. :(

    • 2 years ago
      April says

      I completely understand. It is so hard to feel left out of family goings on, family who chooses others over you, etc. I am glad that I can talk to Him anytime, anywhere and believe me I am so thankful but there is still part of us that longs for that human connection. I pray He sends you the friend that not only you need but that needs you as well! I believe we will find our friend and while I wait, I am doing my best to examine my faults as a friend and trying to change those faults.

  2. 2 years ago
    April says

    This kind of friendship is one I’ve been looking for and have yet to find. As another commenter made reference to, I have (and currently do) find myself in one sided friendships where I’m the one who keeps trying to reach out to these “friends.” I’m praying that He will put the kind of friend in my life that not only I need but someone who needs me as a friend also.

  3. 2 years ago
    Linda says

    I had lunch with a friend today and this very topic came up. As sisters in Christ we need eachother, we need to build each other up!!!

  4. 2 years ago
    Kim says

    A wise friendship is not one where one person is making all the effort to keep the relationship alive.

  5. 2 years ago
    Dawn says

    This message s so on time as I look at the relationships here at work and wonder how we as women can treat other women so cruelly. It is amazing what we do and say behind each others back in a competition to be liked more or to advance ourselves in our jobs. Sometimes it is easier to not engage and stay in my office when I see and hear what should not be.


    • 2 years ago
      Sherri says

      I have ajob where a lot of backstabbing and cruelty is a reality. I try to stay positive and stay out of the gossip…I FEEL SO ALONE…It makes me real sad because we are all women about the same age group…I wait tables at a breakfast restaurant…gossip is also spread to the customers to try to pursuade them to sit in their station. It is causing me great deppression…how do I keep dealing with this on a daily basis?

  6. 2 years ago
    Dorothy says

    This is a great post. My best friendship has lasted for thirty-one years. Although we have lived in different states for most of those years, our hearts are united in love for Christ and each other.

  7. 2 years ago
    Serene says

    Beth, I was trying to advise and encourage a friend yesterday — he was amazed at my insight. I told him that I was not really as together as I sounded. I realized that it is when we are reaching out to others that we become wise — God means for us to encourage each other and when we make that effort He will give us the words and the wisdom.