Celebrating in the Midst of Change

I have been a mother for 28 years.  If you count the year of gestation then you could say I’ve been a mom for 29 years.  I’m 56 and for probably 50 of those years all I ever wanted to be was a mom.  There is no greater joy in my life than being a mom—there is no greater source of frustration in my life than being a mom.

It’s hard and it’s beautiful.  It’s difficult and it’s eternal.  And it’s exhausting—can I hear an Amen?  And the only thing constant is change.  You can have a plan as a mom, but to be successful you have to know and accept that in any given moment, it will change.

For 28 years, since my eldest was born, I have been driving someone somewhere.  Dance class, soccer practice, gymnastics, Wednesday night children’s church, school, errands.  I’ve spent a ton of time in the car.  In fact we have this little running joke that goes something like, “we are so busy that when I call the kids to dinner, they run to the car.” True, true.

Sam, our youngest, turned sixteen this year.  That’s awesome—happy for him—doing all the outward celebrating moms should do.  But inside I realized, I’m never going to take anyone in the car again.  I’m never going to have to take them to football practice, or choir practice or whatever.  And then I played out my pity party to the point of saying, “THEY DON’T NEED ME ANYMORE”. To be honest, I did kind of grieve for a while.

To embrace and celebrate the new seasons of our lives, we often have to grieve the seasons we are leaving behind.  To embrace beginnings we have to celebrate the endings.  I’m not sure I completely get all that yet, but Marilyn Meberg is helping me process through it.  (Ha.  She’s the best!)

It is once again a reminder to me that I can’t let myself be defined by “what I do”.  Sing, mother, carpool…whatever.  I must constantly and persistently seek to be defined by how God sees me.  Treasured and loved.  I can be defined by who I am, and that is a daughter of the King.

Celebrating in the midst of change—
Sandi

Comments

  1. 2 years ago
    Juanita Asomugha says

    Sandi,

    Good afternoon, I All the was from Boston MA, I was Volunteering my services with for World Vision and happen to see you at the Women Of Faith Conference in Sunrise Florida the weekend of the 26th & 27th. I was truly moved by all the touching stories that were shared by many women including yourself, I look forward to seeing you again. Thank you for sharing your life story. As a Volunteer i met so many women that were deeply moved by the inspiration that you and many other put forth. Keep up the good work and May you be Spiritually Blessed…

    Juanita

  2. Thank you for a great message!

  3. Only God can give you the strength to be a Mom and a singer as you are. God is good!

  4. 2 years ago
    Jackie Gregory says

    Hello Sandi,
    I was in the audience of the Women of Faith event this weekend in Sunrise (Ft. Lauderdale) Florida. My heart stopped when you fell, and I was so thankful to God after you were able to finish your activities for the evening. I am sure that you will get a thorough examination when you return home. I did not like the stage set up. It did not facilitate having the audience connect with the speakers and performers. When the stage is instead set in the center of the arena, I believe it is more effective, and facilitates better connections. I did not feel the speakers and dancers were safe on the satellite small stages that were set in front of the main stage.
    You have been my inspiration for years. I am an attorney, and after my husband left me and my two young daughters years ago, listening to your song, “His Eye is on the Sparrow” literally helped me to function each day. I felt that God remembered me. I have atended many of your performances. You are my personal gift from God. Take care and may God continue to bless you.

  5. Amen, Sandi!
    My oldest is a senior and counting down the days until he leaves for college. I can relate to change being heartbreaking and exciting.