I have been a mother for 28 years. If you count the year of gestation then you could say I’ve been a mom for 29 years. I’m 56 and for probably 50 of those years all I ever wanted to be was a mom. There is no greater joy in my life than being a mom—there is no greater source of frustration in my life than being a mom.
It’s hard and it’s beautiful. It’s difficult and it’s eternal. And it’s exhausting—can I hear an Amen? And the only thing constant is change. You can have a plan as a mom, but to be successful you have to know and accept that in any given moment, it will change.
For 28 years, since my eldest was born, I have been driving someone somewhere. Dance class, soccer practice, gymnastics, Wednesday night children’s church, school, errands. I’ve spent a ton of time in the car. In fact we have this little running joke that goes something like, “we are so busy that when I call the kids to dinner, they run to the car.” True, true.
Sam, our youngest, turned sixteen this year. That’s awesome—happy for him—doing all the outward celebrating moms should do. But inside I realized, I’m never going to take anyone in the car again. I’m never going to have to take them to football practice, or choir practice or whatever. And then I played out my pity party to the point of saying, “THEY DON’T NEED ME ANYMORE”. To be honest, I did kind of grieve for a while.
To embrace and celebrate the new seasons of our lives, we often have to grieve the seasons we are leaving behind. To embrace beginnings we have to celebrate the endings. I’m not sure I completely get all that yet, but Marilyn Meberg is helping me process through it. (Ha. She’s the best!)
It is once again a reminder to me that I can’t let myself be defined by “what I do”. Sing, mother, carpool…whatever. I must constantly and persistently seek to be defined by how God sees me. Treasured and loved. I can be defined by who I am, and that is a daughter of the King.
Celebrating in the midst of change—