The Beauty of Scars

One year ago, I started my adoption journey. I’d been pondering adoption for years…well, for decades, actually, because Cindy Whelchel (my best friend in high school) and I had made a pact when we were seventeen that we were going to adopt “brown” babies that no one else wanted. We’re both white but love black culture, abhor racial prejudice, and—truth be told—were probably hoping that having mocha-colored children would give us the opportunity to talk back in church!

Of course, we had no idea when we made that solemn promise while wearing matching pink Izods and poufy hair in the eighties that Cindy would marry Peter in the nineties, that they would struggle with infertility and then go on to adopt two beautiful biracial children. Nor did we imagine that thirty years later, in 2012, I’d still be single.

Frankly, being unmarried is the main reason I pondered adoption for so long but never seriously pursued it. I grew up in the Waltons and Huxtables era, so the idea of having a child without a dad was pretty foreign to me. But when an old friend called last year and asked if I’d be willing to adopt a hard-core crack addict’s baby that no one else was standing in line for because of the inevitable neurological problems and possible birth defects, I thought, “This soon-to-be mama and the baby she’s carrying need someone—anyone—to love them and even a single chick with chemically dependent hair like me can do that!”


  1. Why adoption has to take so long and cost so much money is perplexing to me. God’s blessings to all who journey down this road.
    I am praying for you Lisa! Thank you for being an example of perseverance and love ~ God’s way. The C.S. Lewis quote is right on!
    Btw – I love your books and always enjoy your speaking/teaching.

  2. 1 year ago
    Janice says

    I am so with you on the adoption process! I have just this year adopted 3 wonderful boys! They are the siblings to my grandson (who is 14 and I have raised since aged 2) So now we have 4 boyz in our old age (hubby is 64 and I am 51). I say we are Abraham and Sarah. What a blessing though! God gives us strength and joy each day of this journey. It took us 2 years to finalize the adoption….but we are here and we are blessed. I have watched and prayed with you through your process! The best to you sweet lady!

  3. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and positively broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.” C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves