I never grew up in a church. The only time I went was with friends, which was not very often. There were many times I said, “I have accepted Jesus in my heart” or “I found Jesus.” But I never felt anything. I was always under the assumption that you just say “Yes, Jesus I invite you into my heart” and then you would have this amazing, overwhelming presence of Jesus wash over you. (Which I never felt.) I thought I was supposed to accept him, and then he was supposed to do all the rest. And since I never felt that, I thought that I wasn’t worthy of him . . . that he didn’t want me.
I came with some family members [to Believe God Can Do Anything in Des Moines] because I felt obligated. But listening to the different speakers, it started to make sense. Listening to Christine Caine and how she explained that you can’t just throw everything at Him and say, “Here you go, now fix my problems.” How things you’ve done in your past that make you feel broken does not disqualify you from having a relationship with Him.
I found myself crying a lot this weekend because everything was put into perspective for me. I found Jesus this weekend. I accepted Him with my whole heart.
I was given a devotional and that person who gave it to me said He will show himself in a lot of ways. I opened it, turned it to that day and the first sentence said, “I am all around you, hovering over you even as you seek my face.” It was like he was speaking to me! I realize now that it is a relationship that I have to WORK at, that it just doesn’t come to you. I WANT that relationship with Jesus Christ and I want my children to grow up knowing him also.