Wordless Groans

Youllgetthroughthis_headerIn the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. —Romans 8:26

The winter months are my long, cold, dark days.  This is when I tend to be pulled to the dark corners of life. The cloud of winter became darker for my family on January 17, 2001 when my 21-year-old sister died in a car accident. Having been raised with laughter and smiles, I was never taught how to handle pain and grief. I would feel guilt for the tears and emotions. If I find the words for God in prayer, it is crying out “Why?! Make it stop!”

Gone is my laughter of praise and adoration. My shouts of Savior, Wonderful Counselor, and Prince of Peace turn to cries with clinched fists, sinking into my bed or my couch. I would carry tremendous guilt for what sometimes felt like a lack of faith. I’m not sure I can give words for it. But for those who also go through dark days, I will try.

I realize my fists are not clinched in anger; they are clinched in the cloth of my Father. My wordless groans are cries of praise, “my Abba, my Papa, my Father, Help, please.” I sink into His arms and His presence.  I feel His soft, yet strong voice surround me. “Yes, I know. My heart breaks, too, my child. Shhhhhh. You don’t need to speak. Listen. I’m here. I have you.”  I rest and sleep in His assurance and promises, “Rest, my child, our weeping will last for the night. But my Joy comes in the morning.”

Quiet your heart and listen. A great hope and joy is waiting for you in a new awareness of His presence and promises. All things are made new. Weep, but only for the night, as spring is around the corner.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. —Psalms 30:5

Comments

  1. thank you for sharing this inspiring story. i lost my brother on Feb.6,2014 and i have admit i to feel guilty for asking god why instead of allowing his comfort and grace take care of my pain. Although i knew my brother was dying for almost 2 months i was not prepared for the horrible heart ache i fel, and still feel. I am mom to a young son who has down syndrome,is autistic and also has a condition called cholinergic urticaria(he gets hiveswhen his body temp goes up slightly) and my husband has stage 3 brin cancer so my life is sometimes so stressfull im not sure i can handle it but i always turn to the lord and he gets me through. Praise our gracious and wonderful father

  2. 6 months ago
    Dineo says

    Thanks so much for the post. I am in that situation currently. Being a single mom who has been unemployed since last year and everyday applying for jobs. Have attended few interviews but doors still remain closed. I am at a point where i don’t know how and what to pray. All i do is cry when I read the bible and especially when i listen to praise and worship music. I also feel guilty but tell God that I don’t know what to do, my eyes are on him. I am encouraged

  3. 6 months ago
    Beth Ackerman says

    Thank you for your kind comments! Prayers for all of you!

  4. 6 months ago
    Stacy Fields says

    To take kids seriously we must avoid treating them like miniature adults, expecting too much, too soon. On the other hand, we must show them the dignity we extend to our closest adult peers. We differentiate between the child’s performance and his or her person. Put another way, we distinguish what children are able to accomplish from who they are; their doing from their being.

  5. 6 months ago
    Mildred Johnson says

    I am very touched, how awesome to have a Abba as Father. I am going to share the post with my new daughter-in law. There are lots of issues that she is dealing with my son’s ungodly behavior. I have Ben telling her to draw close to God and let Him love her through this. You expressed His love so beautifully. Thank You! I understand your pain as I have lost 2 sisters also, I am praying for you.

  6. Thanks for being real Beth! God bless your <3

  7. 6 months ago
    Seleste says

    Thank you for letting God use a painful circumstance in your life to pen these beautiful words that today have touched my heart like nothing ever has! I felt I turned my back on God at a similar time in my life. Guilty for allowing grief to overwhelm me so much! Thanks to your words I can now look at that time as my Saviors love for me! I can’t express the flood of love and joy that washed over my soul while reading these words! Thank you for sharing!