I’m fourteen years old; I started high school recently. When you go into high school, it’s good to know that you have your close, trustworthy friends with you.
Well, I lost two of my trustworthy friends: Baley and Ashlyn. Baley died in a boating incident. That was hard; he was always there for everybody. . . . He was a good guy. Ashlyn died of unknown causes in her sleep. They did an autopsy and the results came back inconclusive. She was a good person, too. She would stop and help in a second. She would make you laugh when you were down. She had a sassy, funny attitude that everyone thought was funny.
So, now, going into high school, and not having that support . . . what was I supposed to do?
My grandma bought some tickets to Women of Faith. I was excited. I would get to see Matthew West and hear inspirational stories—it would be great.
On the second day, this lady with a cool Australian accent was telling the story of the men coming to the Promised Land . . . and the wall was there. They had to remain faithful to God and continue walking around the wall.
That got me thinking: God wants me to remain faithful, and continue with my laps around this wall of sadness that God was going to knock down if I remain faithful . . . because I’m almost there. Soon the walls will come crumbling down and I will be happy again, I just need to remain faithful.
I feel like if I hadn’t heard that I would’ve become depressed. All I wanted to do was sit around and think about the “what ifs.” What if Baley had made it to high school? What if Ashlyn and I were going to have an hour together? These questions would be on my mind all the time.
When I walked through those doors of the high school with the thought that Baley and Ashlyn were supposed to be there, I told myself, “laps, you have a couple more laps.” I can’t explain how I felt when I was hearing this story out of the Bible. I felt like the message was for me, directed towards me. I felt so good knowing I was going to make it through all this hurt and pain. I was going to be okay. This sadness won’t consume me.
And it hasn’t. Even when there’s a lot of pain and I don’t want to do anything, I tell myself, “Laps, Alyvia, you’re almost done with this” and it helps. It feels so good knowing that I am going to be okay. That story, in my opinion changed everything, for the better.