I don’t usually respond to formulas for this and that; they feel a bit too tidy. But I have developed one for cheerful thinking I’d like to toss your way for your consideration. To begin with, I love to laugh. I believe a giggle is always loitering about even in the most devastating of circumstances. I make a point of shuffling through the rubble in search of that giggle.
This isn’t denial. I need to feel and express my pain. But I also need to find the light side—and there is always a light side! I’ve noticed that when I laugh about some minor part of a problem or controversy or worry, the whole situation suddenly seems much less negative to me. After a good laugh, I can then rethink my circumstances. As a result, that which was threatening may now seem less threatening.
Paradoxically, after I’ve found the giggle, I am more ready to get serious (it’s a more balanced seriousness) and consider the degree and the extent of my negative thinking. I pull those negative thoughts up on the screen of my mind and scroll down the list, considering each one. The value of this is that it’s easier to do battle with what I can see; therefore it helps to “look” at these thoughts to determine how logical they are….I now need to determine how I can change those thoughts to realistic optimism. This is when negative thoughts have to be deleted and replaced with those that are realistically positive.
I am convinced that one of life’s most easily accessible sources of cheer is to remember some of the off-the-wall, crazy things that happen to us. . . Sometimes those memories are bittersweet as we recall an out-of-the-ordinary moment with a loved one who is now gone. But those times nevertheless provide cheer because that was the emotion felt when the experience occurred. That original cheerful feeling will always remain attached to that memory.
Excerpted from Laughter is the Spice of Life © 2004 by Thomas Nelson. Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas Nelson. Used with permission. All rights reserved.
Sharon Garrison
How right you are, Marilyn! Two days ago, Sept. 29, my beautiful daughter, Melody, would have been 31. “Would have been” because on Jan. 17, 2006, she took her own life; bi-polar turned postpartum PSYCHOSIS after two babies & two miscarriages. One of the ways God has brought healing to our broken hearts is through laughter as we remember funny things about her. When 18, she had an emergency tonsillectomy & was in a lot of pain as she recovered here @ home. My sweet little niece, April (5 or 6), came to visit & comfort her. April sat beside Melody, reached over to touch her arm & solemnly said, “I’m so sorry you had to have your nostrils removed, Melody.” I have laughed out loud more than once & felt oh so much better for having done so! What a precious gift the Lord has given us.
October 1, 2011 at 10:00 PM
Anissa
Marilyn that you for the empowering reframing. Christine thanks for demonstrating it is important to be thankful for the memories we have even in the most painful of situations. Barbara thank you for sharing your heart & a positive perspective. Jennifer thank you for showing us to treasure the time we had rather than what we don’t have. Laughter is good medicine. My Mother-in-law is at this moment in ER waiting for a room in ICU. Fear is trying to get me, and right now I am picturing my little daughter when she not too long ago put on grandma’s glasses.
October 1, 2011 at 3:15 PM
Amanda
Thanks for the reminder to laugh.
October 1, 2011 at 9:25 AM
Pauline Siler
As always, you leave me with a smile no matter what’s going on in my life. I truly appreciate your wonderful ministry. We first met when you were the speaker at the first women’s retreat I had ever attended many years ago. Keep up the good work.
September 30, 2011 at 9:24 PM
Beth Hoffmann
Thanks, Marilyn, for this pathway through suffering to service. Psalm 10:14 gave me words for my picture of putting into a big box all the things I don’t like and can’t change, and giving the box to God, who is big enough to manage all that. Then I’m freed to work on what I’m able to do. Adding a giggle is a good strategy.
Blessings to you in your ministry,
Beth
September 30, 2011 at 6:25 AM
Terrie in Rochester NY
Oh Marilyn, you are so right. A couple years ago my aging Mom came 300 miles to live with me, leaning on her walker due to Parkinson’s disease and recent hip replacement. One evening a couple weeks later she got up from her new lift seat recliner, tried to lean forward onto the walker. She fell back into the chair landing on the TV remote and the chair control, both of which went crazy, the TV changing channels continuously and the chair put her back into a full lying down position. What could have been tragic left us both laughing so hard tears rolled down our faces until we were breathless. What a delightful memory that has given me. Bless you for stimulating that reminder of a time of flat out laughter!!!
September 29, 2011 at 11:40 PM
Pam Thacker
Thanks! My Mom passed away this past February from a rare liver cancer. We didn’t know she was sick until one day when her and I were shopping. She suddenly passed out on me. I caught her and laid her on the floor in the department store. When she came to – she said “well I kinda feel stupid just laying here on the floor looking up at the ceiling!” Over the next several months we both laughed at that comment and even though it hurts that she is gone, you are right- that memory gives me a smile as it helps me remember her and her humor.
September 29, 2011 at 7:01 PM
nancy hahn
I remember my first trip to women of faith and you Marilyn talking about the fun you and your husband had with that ajax sticker. I laughed so much. Actually looked on youtube for it, but never found anything. Thanks for the giggles
September 29, 2011 at 6:17 PM
Dorothy Miller
Marilyn was my best friend when I was a girl in Washington and had hundreds of Sunday afternoons together giggling – thanks for the giggles then and now, Marilyn!!
September 29, 2011 at 6:11 PM
Catherine Thomas
To quote Luci Swindall, “I LOVE THAT!” This past week my aunt passed away (my dads sister)shes the last of the family to make her way into heaven from that generation. It was sad to let her go, but on the lighter side (as you say), I imagine my mom having a pot of coffee ready & a tuna samich and my dad probably already playing jokes on her like he did here on earth (my mind goes wild with scenerios of that LOL). Thank you Marilyn, your message is the one I needed just now. Love & Giggles, Catherine
September 29, 2011 at 2:59 PM
Jennifer from Minnesota
My Mom’s birthday was yesterday….she passed away in 1995. Thanks for the giggle reminder, Marilyn. My sister and I used to ride in the grocery cart when shopping with my mom. We were college students at the time! We would fill her cart with various unwanted items as she visited with friends in the aisles of the grocery store. It was hysterical every time we did it! My Dad would always cringe as we left the house to grocery shopping with Mom. We would always let him know how well behaved we were when we returned! LOL
September 29, 2011 at 10:32 AM
Barbara Matthias
My friends forgot to mention that after I went to my first Women Of Faith Conference and was so exhilierated and filled with faith, awe, and wonder and for the first time in my life knew what the word “glorious” meant, that Santan would come at me with guns a-blazin’ to test me. And boy oh boy has he been trying. Just one little part of his tests has been that my husband had a prostate exam last week which resulted in him having to be catheterized. The results of the all the biopsies came back negative however he does have to be catheterized for the next 13 days. Two funny things came to mind. #1- thank God he was just catheterized not castrated and #2- God is good, God is great, God watches over Nick’s prostate!!!!
September 29, 2011 at 10:17 AM
Anissa
Marilyn that you for the empowering reframing. Christine thanks for demonstrating it is important to be thankful for the memories we have even in the most painful of situations. Barbara thank you for sharing your heart & a positive perspective. Jennifer thank you for showing us to treasure the time we had rather than what we don’t have. Laughter is good medicine. My Mother-in-law is at this moment in ER waiting for a room in ICU. Fear is trying to get me, and right now I am picturing my little daughter when she not too long ago put on grandma’s classes.
September 29, 2011 at 3:37 PM
Christine Maddox
My sister was murdered 20y ago today & I still remember & laugh about the day she pulled up her night gown as a little girl, cuz the house was cold, to warm her buns on the inserted wall heater & burned them. It really wasn’t funny, but it was at the same time too.
Love & miss her so
Christine (little sis)
September 29, 2011 at 8:16 AM