Excerpt

The Inseparable Bonds Our Hearts Crave

Before we get serious about the bonds our hearts crave, are you aware of the current taste treat our society is craving? It is the humble little cupcake. Cupcake shops are springing up all over the nation. People are willing to stand in long lines just for the ultimate pleasure of a rocky road, caramel apple, butter-cream delight, or even peanut-butter-and-jelly cupcake.

This growing phenomenon has been creating a buzz, ranging from those who say the cupcake fling is a fleeting fad . . . to those who maintain a cupcake is small, gourmet, better than a candy bar and, most of all, tastes like childhood. Bingo! I’m hooked on that explanation.

How well I remember purchasing the little devil’s food cupcake with a roof of white frosting from Boehm’s grocery store during my childhood. It delighted my soul and was eagerly consumed in the company of one or several of my classmates on our walk home from Amboy Elementary. Not only can I revisit that glorious taste treat, I also recall what I felt as I ate it. If only for few hours, I was distracted from the bewilderment of my math class and the fear of the teacher who found me annoyingly unteachable. That cupcake security released my fears until 10:00 the next morning, when once again, I would settle into a haze of familiar math bewilderment.

The editor of a highly sophisticated food magazine states that the cupcake’s rise in popularity has to do with this nation’s longing for comfort and security. Because we’re living in a time of international threats, both politically and economically, people want to be transported back to a time when they and their country were innocent. I understand that possible explanation for our renewed appreciation of the simple little cupcake, but the truth is, our desire for security from a fearful environment is as old as Adam and Eve. There has never been a time when we were not fearful about something. Much as I wanted to believe my cupcake security blanket would shelter me from the math travails of the next day, reality forced me to recognize my taste treat treated the symptom but did not provide the cure.

The cure for Marilyn would have been a clear and competent math mind. Unfortunately, that cure never appeared. I’ve given up finding it. However, I have not given up the comfort of a gooey, luscious, chocolate-fudge cupcake. You’ll never convince me cupcakes will not be on the menu in heaven. Of course the heavenly element is that there will be no price to pay from calories or cavities.

I hope the book you are holding in your hand will prove to be as security-producing as a richly flavorful chocolate cupcake. There is no doubt we live in a world from which we often want to retreat and simply pretend tomorrow may allow us to pursue our innocent pleasures instead of demanding requirements beyond our capabilities. But I think it’s possible to have our cupcake and eat it too. God has clearly stated certain promises in the Bible that He means to be security producers in spite of circumstances. For example, Psalm 9:10 states, “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O LORD, have never abandoned anyone who searches for you.”

Now, I have to admit I felt totally abandoned in Mrs. Stealthway’s math class. (Of course that’s not her real name. She still makes me nervous, even in memory.) But feeling abandoned was simply that: a feeling. In reality, I was not abandoned, but reality did nothing to comfort me then. It felt like abandonment, and when something feels like abandonment . . . it must be abandonment (following our usual logic of, If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, it must be a duck). But in my child mind I hadn’t a clue what the word abandonment meant. I only knew I felt utterly left behind, beyond rescue with no mathematically inclined duck in sight.

If I were a betting woman, I’d be willing to wager you too have experienced abandonment feelings but perhaps didn’t recognize the word that labeled what you were experiencing. As a result, you may not know some of what you do, think, and feel today comes from abandonment experiences. You may be muttering, “The last thing I could possibly be feeling is abandoned. I’m married and have kids, friends, a busy job and church life. I even have neighbors . . . too many neighbors. So I can tell you for sure I do not feel abandoned. Robinson Crusoe might have been abandoned, but I’m not and never have been.”

As I’ve been writing this book and telling a few people the topic is abandonment, the invariable question I receive is why? What kind of topic is that? people wanted to know. Are you writing for orphans or babies left on doorsteps? Are you planning on reaching only a small percentage of readers? Why don’t you write about something all people struggle with, like depression, loneliness, marriage, divorce, kids, friends, parenting, jobs? You know, the usual stuff.

This book addresses all that “stuff,” but I want to suggest that the greatest fear each of us on this planet struggles with is abandonment. It influences all the “usual-stuff” responses we have. Maybe we haven’t known what to call that unexpected and sometimes overwhelming emotion we suddenly experience that makes us feel like we’re hanging onto our sanity for dear life. But the fear of losing what we want and need – whether it has to do with a friend, husband, or parent – is so profound, our psyche comes up with a gazillion defenses to protect us from uncomfortable or disturbing feelings.

* * *

I want to gently say we’ve all been left, one way or another by someone somewhere. Every one of us endures abandonment events, beginning with our birth . . .

When God’s Word tells us He never abandons anyone who searches for Him, we are meant to settle down and rest in that promise. Sometimes resting feels like an impossibility because our feelings can be loud and our fears overwhelming. I’ve written this book to provide some clarity for why we are feeling what we do. Clarity leads to light, and light leads us to the Light of the world and the God of the universe, who pushes back the darkness, restores broken lives, and ties our hearts to His with inseparable bonds of love.

That truth, sweet baby, is reason to celebrate. Now I suggest you reach for your favorite cupcake, a pot of tea, and begin your journey. God walks it with you.

Adapted from Love Me Never Leave Me, © 2008 by Marilyn Meberg. Used with permission. All Rights Reserved. Purchase a copy of Love Me Never Leave Me here.