Excerpt

An Intelligent Attitude Toward Life
How did I ever get into this mess?
What was I thinking?
Why does this keep happening to me?
Where do I go from here?
When did life become so complicated?

If you have ever found yourself asking questions like these, you’re in good company, dear sister. From time to time, each of us lands in the middle of a situation that leaves us looking back to see where our lives took a wrong turn. And more often than not, if we are honest with ourselves, that wrong turn was the result of making an unwise choice, or even a whole bunch of them.

Each day you and I face countless decisions, opportunities, and challenges. Some are simple: Flats or heels? White or whole wheat? Plastic or paper? Others deserve a bit more thought: Cash or charge? Do I really need this or do I just want it? Should we paint the house this weekend or kick back and relax? And many choices, perhaps more than we’d like to think, have the power to set our lives on an entirely different course: Shall I continue in my current job, or should I take the risk of starting my own business? Is this problem with my child important enough to confront now, or should I wait and see what happens? Do I continue to work at this relationship, or is it time to walk away?

All of these decisions together determine not only where life will take us but also set the mood for our journey. We’ll either walk in a cloud of uncertainty and regret or we’ll press on confidently, satisfied with our choices and eager to see where they lead us. The difference comes in knowing when we need to think twice about a decision, and that difference is what sets Smart Girls apart from the rest.

This book is all about when and how to think twice so that you can make smart choices and live in that confident zone of security in which you are content with your decisions. A Smart Girl doesn’t have to second-guess herself, nor does she live with regrets for what might have been. She approaches vital decisions with an intentional heart and proceeds with a poise that comes only from making a wise choice.

A Smart Girl chooses to think smart. It’s not a matter of IQ. It’s a matter of the heart, a willingness to take that extra look at choices that matter. She doesn’t obsessively dwell on a choice. Once she has considered the consequences and made her decision, she moves on.

A Smart Girl knows that mistakes are inevitable. She doesn’t look back with self-pity or self-loathing. If she realizes she didn’t choose the best option, she acknowledges it and determines to make a better choice the next time. She knows what is . . . is, and she moves forward from that point. She will learn from the past but never, ever wallow in it. She knows that perfection is unattainable, so she is content to make the best choice she can based on what she knows and then trust God with the rest.

A Smart Girl shines in her ability to avoid repeating the same mistake twice. She learns from her own experiences as well as from the missteps of others. She also reads with a learner’s heart. She approaches the Scriptures, as well as other books of substance, with an ear to listen and an eye to observe.

Sometimes, despite her best efforts and through no fault of her own, a Smart Girl faces situations she didn’t see coming. Those unexpected circumstances bring out her well-established God-confidence. Even when she’s blindsided by life, she trusts that the Lord will be true to His promise to cause “all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28 NASB). She allows God to work His purposes without interference.

The Essential Quality of a Smart Girl
There is a rich, multifaceted Hebrew word that encompasses the essence of what it takes to become a Smart Girl. That word is châkam. In many places, it is translated as wisdom, but the original word, for which we have no English equivalent, embodies wisdom, knowledge, experience, insight, and judgment–everything we most need to make good choices. Its meaning could be summarized as “an intelligent attitude toward the experiences of life.”

The book of Proverbs is full of references to châkam, and the following verses reflect why those who have this quality can walk through life with confidence in each choice they make.

Tune your ears to wisdom,
                and concentrate on understanding.
Cry out for insight,
                and ask for understanding.
Search for them as you would for silver;
                seek them like hidden treasures.
Then you will understand what it means to fear the LORD,
                and you will gain knowledge of God.
For the LORD grants wisdom!
                From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest.
                He is a shield to those who walk with integrity.
He guards the paths of the just
                and protects those who are faithful to him.
Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair,
                and you will find the right way to go.
For wisdom will enter your heart,
                and knowledge will fill you with joy.
Wise choices will watch over you.
                Understanding will keep you safe. (2: 2–11)

Don’t you love that passage? Oh, the inexpressible comfort of having “an intelligent attitude toward life.” That is the mark of a Smart Girl; that is châkam.

* * *

Becoming a Smart Girl is all about accessing and acting on the wisdom that God reserves for those who desire it and seek it in every circumstance. This is where we learn to do life with great skill. We not only do what needs to be done, but we recognize the grace we need to do it well.

We live in perilous times, and Smart Girls know that they have to consider carefully how even the most basic choices can affect their ability to enjoy a vibrant, worthwhile life that reflects God’s best for them. As we’ll see in the chapters ahead, your ability and willingness to think twice before you choose is essential if you’re going to be an effective tool in the hands of the One who created you for His purposes.

May you and I trust God to make us intelligent, wise, caring, insightful women. May we live in the joy of châkam.

Adapted and abridged from Smart Girls Think Twice by Jan Silvious. © 2007 Jan Silvious. Used with permission. All Rights Reserved.