RECONCILIATION

Practical Tools and Resources to Go Deeper! 

SPIRITUAL STRENGTH | LIFE LEADERSHIP | REAL RELATIONSHIPS

QUICK STUDY GUIDE

Need help now with RECONCILIATION? 

This Quick Study Guide offers an immediate overview, concise answers, with biblical hope and practical help.

ORDER & DOWNLOAD YOUR QUICK STUDY GUIDE

COLLECTION OF CLASSES

Comprehensive classes on, that coaches and equips you to walk in victory.

Our Women of Faith Collection of Classes are designed to help you and those you care about deepen your relationship with Jesus and make practical changes in your life.

Sign up to watch the Women of Faith Collection of Classes and start moving toward the FREEDOM you crave.

DIVE INTO OUR COLLECTION OF CLASSES

NOT SURE ON HOW TO START?  

LEARN:  WHAT IS GOD'S HEART ON RECONCILIATION?

Get your free Key to Hope on RECONCILIATION.  The download will be sent to your email.

WOMEN OF FAITH SHOW with ALITA REYNOLDS

Be inspired to discover God’s redemption in your story and equipped to share it with those who need TRUE hope.  This show features a wide range of guests who are impacting the world in big and small ways every day.

Inspiring conversations that will encourage you to live the life you were created for. Hear stories of how guests have overcome their personal struggles. 

Get a feel for the show with a free sneak peek…

START WATCHING

Restoring Broken Relationships

Are you a mother who doesn’t speak to her daughter?

A husband who barely talks to his wife?

A best friend who never answers the other’s calls?

Connecting Imperfect People to Other Imperfect People

Miscommunication, misbehavior, misinformation can unravel the tightest bonds and leave our emotions spinning out of control. Everyone experiences relationship breakdowns because imperfect people are connected to other imperfect people.  The Bible makes it clear that our hearts should be a reflection of God’s heart, which ultimately is a heart of reconciliation.

Courtrooms are full of litigation between families, coworkers and friends. You probably haven’t escaped the pain of a broken relationship. This pain is universal, dating back to the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve, through sin, broke fellowship with God. We’ve been in need of reconciliation ever since.

We’re all accountable for how we interact with others. If you refuse to take responsibility for your actions, you’re asking for trouble. While you’re never responsible for another person’s heart, you have a God-given duty to evaluate your own, deal with unresolved anger, and humbly ask forgiveness.

Don’t allow hurt feelings to alienate you from loved ones. Be aware, however, that reconciliation and restoration are not the same. Not every relationship, especially an abusive one, should be restored. In every instance, allow your heart to reflect God’s heart. Ask Him to give you wisdom and patience as you seek peace with others.

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Romans 12:17-18

What Characterizes a Heart of Reconciliation? 

Humility: 

Do I focus on how much the Lord continues to forgive me? 

Self-examination: 

Do I expect change only in others, or do I recognize my own need to change also? 

Forgiveness: 

Do I choose to release my personal rights and allow the Lord to empower me to forgive? 

Confrontation: 

Do I communicate my feelings without accusation? 

Communication: 

Do I set aside quality time to share my heart and have personal interaction? 

Risk taking: 

Do I risk rejection, knowing that God’s love and acceptance will fulfill me? 

Commitment: 

Do I set aside my personal hurt for the sake of the relationship? 

Confidence: 

Do I trust God to heal my heartaches and to meet my needs? 

“The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.” 

(1 Thessalonians 5:24) 

 

Reconciliation vs. Forgiveness 

Reconciliation focuses on the relationship. 

Forgiveness focuses on the offense.

 

Reconciliation requires at least two people. 

Forgiveness requires only one person.

 

Reconciliation is necessarily reciprocal. 

Forgiveness is not necessarily reciprocal but can be directed only one-way. 

 

Reconciliation is the choice to rejoin the offender. 

Forgiveness is the choice to release the offender. 

 

Reconciliation involves a change in behavior by the offender. 

Forgiveness involves a change in thinking about the offender. 

 

Reconciliation is a restored relationship based on restored trust. 

Forgiveness is a free gift to the one who has broken trust. 

 

Reconciliation is offered to the offender because it has been earned. 

Forgiveness is extended even if it is never, ever earned. 

 

Reconciliation is conditional, based on repentance. 

Forgiveness is unconditional, regardless of a lack of repentance. 

 

Reconciliation necessitates a relationship agreed on by both parties. 

Forgiveness necessitates no relationship at all. 

“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” 

(Amos 3:3) 

How to Respond When Reconciliation Is Refused 

There are no guarantees that any relationship will be reconciled, so when your attempts to reconcile are rejected, remember ... 

  • If your heart has been repentant, you have God’s total forgiveness. 

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” 

(1 John 1:8–9). 

  • Pray for the one who refuses reconciliation—there is an unmet need. 

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”

(Matthew 5:44). 

  • God never leaves you when you suffer the loss of a close relationship. 

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” 

(Psalm 34:18). 

  • Control what you say about those who refuse reconciliation. 

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse” 

(Romans 12:14). 

  • Don’t be vengeful—in time God will deal with those who do wrong. 

“Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord”

(Romans 12:19).

  • God will do a work in you that is good in spite of the difficulty. 

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” 

(Roman 8:28).

How to Respond When Reconciliation Is Refused 

There are no guarantees that any relationship will be reconciled, so when your attempts to reconcile are rejected, remember ... 

  • If your heart has been repentant, you have God’s total forgiveness. 

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” 

(1 John 1:8–9). 

  • Pray for the one who refuses reconciliation—there is an unmet need. 

“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”

(Matthew 5:44). 

  • God never leaves you when you suffer the loss of a close relationship. 

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” 

(Psalm 34:18). 

  • Control what you say about those who refuse reconciliation. 

“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse” 

(Romans 12:14). 

  • Don’t be vengeful—in time God will deal with those who do wrong. 

“Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord”

(Romans 12:19).

  • God will do a work in you that is good in spite of the difficulty. 

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” 

(Roman 8:28).

 The Heart Test 

  • Do my actions demonstrate love toward my offender?(Matthew 5:44) 
  • Do I speak well of my offender? (Luke 6:28) 
  • Do I do what is right toward my offender? (Romans 12:17) 
  • Do I have a forgiving spirit toward my offender? (Matthew 6:14–15) 
  • Do I exhibit meekness toward my offender? (Matthew 5:5) 
  • Do I pray on behalf of my offender? (James 5:16)

 

How to “Bury the Hatchet” 

  • Prepare your heart for seeking reconciliation. (Colossians 3:15) 
  • Know that refusal to seek reconciliation affects the intimacy of your fellowship with God. (Matthew 5:23–24) 
  • Seek forgiveness and apologize for words that have hurt the other person, be conciliatory. (Proverbs 6:2–3) 
  • Be kind and gentle, trusting God to work in the heart of the other person. (2 Timothy 2:24–25) 
  • Reflect the character of Christ in all that you do. (Galatians 2:20) 
  • Enlist a mediator if necessary. (Matthew 18:16) 
  • Do not hold yourself responsible for the outcome. (Romans 8:28) 
  • Rest in the knowledge that you have done all you can do to seek peace. (Romans 12:18)

 

Key Verse to Learn

“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”

 (1 Peter 3:9)

 

Key Passages to Read

Luke 15:11–32

LIVE IN VICTORY!

100+ BIBLICALLY BASED RESOURCE TOPICS

READY TO GO DEEPER?

Be coached and equipped to boost your spiritual strength, experience real relationships, and be the life leader you are.

Want to learn more about our other 100+ topics?  Check out the Women of Faith Resources, to discover biblical hope and practical help on these topics. The Women of Faith Resources are designed to help you – and help you help others – overcome difficulties, grow in maturity, and move forward in life.

God desires to give you hope as you face life challenges, problems and difficult trials. The good news for us, God specializes in redemption and transformation. He takes that which was lost and restores it. He takes that which was dead and gives it life. He takes that which had no hope and rewrites its story. This is our God! As you pray today, ask God boldly to transform the thing inside you that you want to see changed forever!

Thank you for your interest and support in Women of Faith. We pray God will encourage, equip, and empower you with His life-changing truth.

 

RELATED TOPICS

Anger

Communication

Conflict Resolution

Confrontation

Forgiveness

Friendship

Manipulation

NOTICE: The information contained in this resource is general in nature and is not intended to provide or be a substitute for advice, consultation or treatment with a duly licensed mental health practitioner or other medical professional. This resource is intended to provide practical faith-based guidelines for balanced living and is not a replacement for medical advice. Professional services should be pursued whenever necessary and/or appropriate. By utilizing this resource, individuals acknowledge that Women of Faith is not providing direct clinically-oriented mental health treatment or therapy, and that it does not create a therapeutic relationship between any individual and Women of Faith.  Individuals who use this resource also agree to indemnify and hold harmless, Women of Faith, its licensees, affiliates, and assigns, as well as the officers, agents, and employees of Women of Faith and its licensees, affiliates, and assigns, from and against any and all liability, loss, damages, costs, charges, legal fees, recoveries, judgments, penalties, and expenses, which may be obtained against, imposed upon or suffered by Women of Faith.Additionally, certain views and opinions expressed in this resource may be those from sources other than Women of Faithand do not necessarily represent the views of Women of Faith, nor imply an endorsement by Women of Faith. All rights are reserved worldwide and no part of this resource may be reproduced in any form (print or electronic) without the expressed written permission of Women of Faith.