FROM SURVIVING TO THRIVING

"Powerless.” No word better describes the way a victim feels . . . and rightfully so!

That feeling can continue long after the abuse has stopped, creeping into relationships, destroying true intimacy, and leaving the victim trapped in an imaginary prison. If you once suffered from abuse but still feel helpless, you may suffer from a victim mentality or a type of thinking that makes you a “peace-at-all-costs” type of person. You might call it being a “people pleaser,” someone who likes keeping others happy. If doing so prevents you from being your true self or prevents you from ending a dangerous relationship, you’re not being a peacemaker. You’re allowing yourself to be a victim. 

Abuse can leave you feeling insignificant, invisible, and worthless. Despite what you’ve been told, you matter to God. You have God-given worth, and you are loved by Him.  Don’t let the victim mentality paralyze your heart. God offers a freedom that lasts forever! In Him, you have the power to stop living as a victim and start living as the person He created you to be . . . His precious child, redeemed and set free!

Despite its prevalence, abuse is never a comfortable topic to discuss. The reach of abuse extends around the world to people of every background, age and stage of life. And though physical wounds heal in time, emotional damage can last for years. Can there be hope for change . . . for complete healing? Yes! The Keys for Living resources show how to find healing from past pain, how to process difficult emotions, and how to help others who have been abused. Discover your God-given worth, and start walking in freedom and moving forward with hope.

God desires to give you hope as you face life challenges, problems and difficult trials. The good news for us, God specializes in redemption and transformation.  He takes that which was lost and restores it. He takes that which was dead and gives it life. He takes that which had no hope and rewrites its story. This is our God! As you pray today, ask God boldly to transform the thing inside you that you want to see changed forever!

“Blessed is he . . . whose hope is in the LORD his God. . . . He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The LORD sets prisoners free.”  

Psalm 146:5-7

If you’ve heard constant, cruel and condemning messages from your parents, spouse, partner, boss, or anyone close to you … you might have come to believe those messages over time. Perhaps you’ve come to believe that you are unworthy, unlovable, or not “good enough.”

Underneath much of our struggles are lies we believe about ourselves, others, our situation, and about God. These lies are often connected with a sense of guilt and shame, and they can negatively impact our behavior, decisions, and relationships.

Know this: No matter what harsh words you’ve been told, abuse does not have the final word about you – God does. His Word speaks of His boundless love for you and the life-changing identity you have in Christ.

Healing and transformation can occur when you begin to see yourself through God’s eyes, believing what He says about you. Therefore, it is important to identify the lies you’ve been led to believe and replace them with God’s truth.

“Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth.”
(Psalm 86:11)

What Is a Victim? 

• A victim is a person who experiences adversity, who is powerless to change the situation. 
• A victim is a person who is tricked or duped. 
• A victim is a person who is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed. 
• A victim is a person who is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment.  

What Is the Victim Mentality? 

• The victim mentality is a mind-set in which a person who was once a victim continues in old thought patterns that foster feelings of powerlessness, even when the victimization has ended. 
• The victim mentality causes individuals to see others as powerful but themselves as weak and powerless. 
• The victim mentality leads those who were genuinely powerless to stop abuse in the past to assume the same powerless state in the present. 
• In order to fully embrace the future that the Lord has planned for them, this faulty assumption needs to be replaced with God’s truth.
• The victim mentality can consciously or subconsciously be used to deny responsibility for a person’s present actions. 
• The individual continues in self-destructive attitudes and actions while blaming others for the undesirable results. Victory requires a new mind-set. ...

“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

(2 Corinthians 10:5)

Question:  “What will help me overcome a victim mentality?” 

Answer:  You can overcome a victim mentality by changing the way you see yourself. As a child, you were defenseless, and as an adult, you are no longer without power. 

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became [an adult], I put the ways of childhood behind me.” 

(1 Corinthians 13:11) 

Question:  “Does God even see the grief in my heart?” 

Answer:  Yes, He sees your grief, and He takes it seriously. 

“For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.” 

(Lamentations 3:31–33)