THE UNBELIEVING MATE

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SPIRITUAL STRENGTH | LIFE LEADERSHIP | REAL RELATIONSHIPS

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LEARN:  WHAT IS GOD'S HEART ON THE UNEQUALLY YOKED MARRIAGE

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BRIDGING THE SPRITUAL DIVIDE

From the beginning of time, God’s design for marriage was for a male and a female to become united as one ... united physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. If spiritual oneness has eluded you, that is all the more reason to be the Lord’s silent witness before your unbelieving mate. Never lose hope... 

“We have been unfaithful to our God by marrying foreign women from the peoples around us. But in spite of this, there is still hope for Israel.”

Ezra 10:2

An unequally yoked marriage is the union of a husband and wife in which one is a believer and the other is an unbeliever.  The Bible tells believers to avoid becoming yoked with unbelievers.

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

2 Corinthians 6:14

God’s Heart on the Unequally Yoked Marriage 

“If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”

1 Corinthians 7:12–16

 

 Question: “How can I have the right spirit when my unsaved spouse doesn’t want to change?”

Don’t focus on what your spouse doesn’t do. Focus on the good that they do. This will enhance your relationship with them. And pray that your spouse will respond to all that the Lord can do in their life. It is important to understand that your “right spirit” is not dependent on anyone else’s attitudes or actions. It is dependent on your right relationship with God—and that is dependent on you, not on anyone else.

“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

(Hebrews 12:1–3)

What Is an “Unequally Yoked” Marriage?

  • An unequally yoked marriage is the union of a husband and wife in which one is a believer and the other is an unbeliever.
  • The Bible tells believers to avoid becoming yoked with unbelievers.

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

(2 Corinthians 6:14)

 

What Is a Believer?

  • A believer is a person who has a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and who seeks to live a life relying on the Lord for everything.
  • In Greek the word for “believe” is pisteuo, which means “to trust in, to place confidence in, to rely on.”

“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.”

(Acts 16:31)

  • Mere intellectual assent that Jesus is Lord is not evidence that one is a believer. A changed life is the evidence of authentic salvation.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.”

(Matthew 7:21)

 

What Is an Unbeliever?

  • An unbeliever is a person who does not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and who lives life trusting and relying on human effort instead of relying on the Lord for everything.
  • The Greek word apistos means “unbeliever” or a “person without faith.”

“What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?”

(2 Corinthians 6:15)

 

What Are the Basic Needs in a Loving Relationship?

  • The need for intimacy sensing a personal connection
  • The need for commitment having a security of relationship
  • The need for forgiveness recognizing your own imperfections and accepting those of your mate
  • The need for conformity being in agreement and harmony with one another

“Never married” singles often view marriage as the answer to all their problems. Single women are on the lookout for their knight in shining armor. Bachelors begin to lose hope that they will ever find “the perfect woman.” When they finally find that person of their dreams, they ultimately realize all that glitters is not gold.

Once inside marriage, both partners experience power struggles.  Conflicts center on decision making, money, children or any number of other things. Of particular concern are spiritual matters. At this point, your role as Christ’s “image bearer” becomes vitally important.

“You have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”

(Colossians 3:9–10)

 

Characteristics of the Discontented Believing Mate

  • Loneliness - longs for spiritual oneness
  • Envy - compares own marriage with other Christian marriages
  • Anger - feels frustration that mate does not change
  • Fear - sees only future unhappiness and worries over destiny of mate

  • Guilt - feels bad about marrying an unbeliever and/or the inability to lead mate to Christ

  • Depression - loses hope in God’s ability to change the situation

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God desires to give you hope as you face life challenges, problems and difficult trials. The good news for us, God specializes in redemption and transformation. He takes that which was lost and restores it. He takes that which was dead and gives it life. He takes that which had no hope and rewrites its story. This is our God! As you pray today, ask God boldly to transform the thing inside you that you want to see changed forever!

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RELATED TOPICS

Child Evangelism

Communication

Conflict Resolution

Divorce

Intimacy

Marriage 

Salvation

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