Identity - Expectations
You know, for a long time, in my own life, I looked to society or my own cultural expectations, the experiences of my family to determine my identity. I didn't know how to seek God for who I was created to be, I just had these expectations. I just really began to be disappointed because the expectations that I had weren't, who I was becoming, I thought life was going to look a certain way.
And as I went through my 20s, and my 30s, and then got into my 40s, I really had to look and think life wasn't what I expected it to be. I have never been married, and I don't have children, and especially in my early 20s, and leading into my 30s, when I thought I would get married and have kids and that was just, that's just the life story.
I mean, I, my so many people in my family, they married their high school sweethearts, and that's what I expected. And that wasn't what I found. So who am I? If I'm not a mother, who am I? If I'm not someone's wife, is it enough that I am just me trying to get through the day.
So as I struggled with my identity, and I will say struggle is actually a pretty mild word. I mean, I was devastated at times, especially in in my mid to late 20s. When I really started to think Wait, this is starting to take too long. So I was I was devastated.
And I know becoming a wife and mother is not everyone's expectation everywhere, you know, out people have other thoughts of how their lives would unfold. But because of where I'm from, and the expectations that I had, the fact that those roles did not become a part of my life, left me feeling like I had totally missed my purpose.
So thankfully, though, I did have a real relationship with Jesus that began when I was a little girl. And as I grew angry and hurt and felt that those blessings weren't coming to be part of my life, that relationship with Jesus, it held, it was my anchor, you know, I struggled with him and I was frustrated, but he never left me and that anchor held through the times that I was the most hurt over those lack of expectations coming to reality for me.
Haley Scully | Master Life Coach