Where in the world are these women? Part 3

In part one of this blog, I shared I have had failed attempts to create Godly friendships.  Developing real, raw, authentic friendships requires vulnerability, and sometimes this vulnerability is taken advantage of.  

I did not have to tell you this because you have most likely experienced this hurt for yourself.

When I was betrayed by a woman who seemed to be “very Godly,” the sting hurt worse.  I said I would never be that vulnerable and open and real with anyone ever again.  

Well, that lasted a few months. 

NEVER is a pretty strong word.  I was just so hurt that I did not want to feel that pain again.   

Clearly, deciding that I would not be vulnerable ever again was not the solution!  

I healed from the pain of betrayal, and then I tried again. 

Godly friends do not betray their friends. 

Godly friends do not stay distant from all meaningful relationships. 

Here is the deal, I learned a lot from this betrayal.  Was it right for her to betray me?  Absolutely not.  

Was it good for me not to engage in any more deep, meaningful relationships?  Absolutely not. 

Godly friends dig in. They invest their time and energy to create authentic relationships. 

Does this mean that as Godly friends, we are to have weak boundaries and allow others to hurt us negligently? Absolutely not.

However, when we establish healthy boundaries, we have the opportunity to invest in Godly relationships and yet, if necessary, withdraw from the close friendship to protect ourselves.  

How we engage in relationships with our inner circle, those closest to us, is more vulnerable and intimate than how we engage in relationships with more distance relationships. 

Remember, just because a friend was once in your inner circle of friends does not mean they will always be in your inner circle.  Usually, your inner circle consists of three to five of your closest relationships. 

We have an opportunity to love and care for friends while maintaining more distance between each other to protect ourselves when required.  

We also have the option to sever unhealthy relationships if needed.  Sometimes it feels harsh or even selfish to end a friendship, but sometimes it is needed.  Ecclesiastes 3 encourages us that there is a season for everything.

However, we have the opportunity to pray for them from afar.  

Sometimes we have the opportunity to continue the friendship but with a new role.  Sometimes a friendship morphs into a chance to minister to the friend and truly guide them to a healthier way to engage in relationships.  

With this option, we withdraw our idea of receiving a lot from the friendship and decide to pour into the other person.  When we turn a friendship into part of our ministry, we act as the hands and feet of Jesus without the expectation of receiving the benefits. 

We can simply be givers and not much of a taker in the relationship.  

Establishing healthy boundaries with your Godly friends can be difficult.  However, through fervent prayer and listening to the Holy Spirit, I am confident you will make the best decisions about your Godly friends in your inner circle. 

I am wildly cheering you,

Alita

 

Alita Reynolds

President | Women of Faith

 

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