Ready to start reading right now?
Download now for a complete and comprehensive reading on MANIPULATION.
KEYS FOR LIVING BOOKS
The Women of Faith Keys for Living books are designed for those looking for help and for those looking to help, the Keys for Living were created to help you … and help you help others. The Keys are great for personal study and growth, small group studies, and for teaching and training purposes.
What to Expect in the Keys: You’ll discover God’s wisdom and guidance in a simple format.
- Definitions help you understand the topic from God’s perspective.
- Characteristics give insight into the different aspects of the topic.
- Causes shed light on the underlying issues related to the topic.
- Steps to Solution (Step-by Step) show you how to be transformed, walk in freedom and live in victory.
CUTTING THE STINGS OF CONTROL
“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”
If you are a manipulator, you’ll learn how to let go of control and lean on God who alone is sufficient to meet all your needs.
Do you see yourself as being “power-hungry”? Power plays an intimate role in each of our lives. We all have a need to control our circumstances. In childhood, we throw tantrums to get our way. By adulthood, we’ve mastered the art of manipulation. In fact, you could be a manipulator, or the one being manipulated, and not even realize it!
Manipulation isn’t wrong only because it’s dishonest and selfish. Manipulation happens when humans take control of their own circumstances in order to have their needs met. We’re not designed to meet our own needs. Only God can do this. He’s designed your heart to need Him. He’s made the world to thrive under His power.
Over the years, children can learn to use manipulative tears to get their way within their little circle of life. As we grow into adults, we develop highly refined personal skills for meeting our needs by taking matters into our own hands and manipulating people and events around us. These methods of control are so deeply ingrained that we lack personal insight into our own deceptive behavior.
Most of us are more aware of the manipulation of others than of our own “string-pulling.” But maturity demands that we lay bare before God our need to control and that we begin the process of trusting the One who is in ultimate control. "To stop being manipulated, you must sometimes say no to people so you can then say yes to God." —June Hunt
NOT SURE ON HOW TO START?
LEARN: WHAT IS GOD'S HEART ON MANIPULATION?
Get your free Key to Hope on MANIPULATION. The download will be sent to your email.
THE WOMEN OF FAITH SHOW with ALITA REYNOLDS
Inspiring conversations that will encourage you to live the life you were created for.
Do you want to experience a deeper relationship with Jesus?
Do you need some encouragement that your story has a purpose?
Join Alita Reynolds, the President of Women of Faith, as she and her featured guestsinspire you to live the life you were created for and equip you to walk more fully in God’s purpose for your life.
Whatever your story, your life matters, you belong, and God wants you to live victoriously. You’ll meet a wide range of guests who impact the kingdom in meaningful ways every day. Their stories will inspire you to believe that when we walk by faith, ANYTHING is possible.
COLLECTION OF CLASSES
Take a deep dive into complete and comprehensive teaching.
Learn with our collection of classes found by subscribing today PLUS receive so much more.
Our Women of Faith Collection of Classes are designed to help you and those you care about deepen your relationship with Jesus and make practical changes in your life. Sign up to watch the Women of Faith Collection of Classes at LIFTABLEtv and start moving toward the FREEDOM you crave.
Whatever you’re facing, your life matters, and God wants you to live in victory. Today is a great day to begin.
God Alone is Our True "need-meeter"
Realize God may call you to help someone come face to face with the patterns of manipulation. When you’re given that opportunity, help your friend understand and recognize that God alone is our true need-meeter. He’s the only one who can meet our deepest inner needs for love, significance and security. Be ready to share God’s hope and help. It can make all the difference in the world!
What Is Manipulation?
- Manipulation is the art of controlling people or circumstances by indirect, unfair or deceptive means, especially to one’s own advantage.
- Those who are manipulated allow others to have excessive control over them—the control that God alone should have.
“You shall have no other gods before me.”
What Is Persuasion?
- Persuasion is the act of convincing people by urging, reasoning and appealing to one’s mind.
- Those who are persuaded are won over by logical arguments of sound reasoning.
What is the difference between manipulation and persuasion?
- Someone who manipulates uses emotional means to get their way.
- Someone who persuades uses logical means to achieve their goal.
“Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”
1 Peter 3:15
What Are Some Biblical Illustrations?
With his great God-given strength, Samson could have delivered Israel from the oppression of the enemy—the Philistines.
He fell in love with a prostitute. At the request of the Philistine rulers who wanted to capture him, she began to cajole Samson into telling her the secret of his strength. After three failed attempts, she finally said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when you won’t confide in me?” (Judges 16:15).
What manipulation! Ultimately, she wore him down with her words, nagging and prodding him, until he told her the truth. (Judges 16:16–17)“Then the Philistines seized him, gouged out his eyes and took him down to Gaza. Binding him with bronze shackles, they set him to grinding in the prison.” (Judges 16:21)
Characteristics of Spiritually Manipulative People
- Controlling religious family members
- Manipulative church leaders or members (and equivalents in all religions)
- Covert occult practitioners
- Mind-controlling cultists
Characteristics of Spiritually Manipulative Groups
- Authoritarian. Implying that God communicates with His people only through a hierarchy of power
- Coercive. Using any tactic available to persuade followers to do what the leaders demand
- Condemning. Heaping condemnation on outsiders and anyone who leaves the congregation
- Discriminatory. Telling members their needs are less important than are the needs of leaders
- Image Conscious . Seeking to present themselves as an image of perfect righteousness
- Intimidating. Threatening members routinely with punishment in order to gain compliance
- Isolating. Encouraging members to minimize or discontinue contact with family, friends, and the outside world
- Legalistic. Expecting members to make extreme sacrifices of money, time, and energy
- Perfectionistic. Condemning failure of any type or magnitude
- Suppressive of Criticism. Maintaining that those who question anything about the organization are actually challenging God’s authority
- Terrorizing . Blaming the ministry’s problems on the sins of the members
- Unbalanced . Flaunting their distinctiveness in order to validate their claim of having a “special” relationship with God
Background of Manipulation
In childhood, you...
- Had an over-controlling parent
- Experienced some type of abuse
- Grew up in an abusive home environment
- Had “no voice” at home to share honest facts and feelings; never dealt with your true feelings
- Learned about manipulation by watching your parents
- Grew up in a “blaming home” that used guilt to control others
- Accepted blame for everything in childhood
- Blamed everyone else for all of your wrongs, setting yourself up to become a manipulator
- Thought your “normal” was normal, but it was not
- Wanted to please others, but your “pleasing” was never pleasing enough
How to Stop Being Spiritually Manipulated
- Submit yourself to God’s authority. (Acts 5:29)
- Talk about your concerns with spiritual leaders who are not involved in your manipulative situation. (Ephesians 4:2–3)
- Consider how the spiritually manipulative attitude of others is impacting your spiritual life, your relationships with family members and friends, and your sense of personal value. (Proverbs 27:17)
- Separate yourself from manipulative situations and seek out people who are encouraging. (Hebrews 3:13)
How to Stop Being a Manipulator
- Face the Facts. (Psalm 51:10)
- Tell the Truth. (Psalm 51:1–3)
- Consider the Causes. (Psalm 51:6)
- Pardon the Past. (Colossians 3:13)
- Focus on Faith. (Romans 8:13–15)
- Grow in Grace. (Ephesians 3:16–17, 20–21)
- Oust the Old. (Colossians 2:9–12)
- Mold Your Mind. (Romans 12:1–2)
- Live to Love. (Ephesians 3:17–19)
10 Major Maneuvers to Conquer the Manipulator
2. Expect exasperation from the manipulator. (Psalm 31:3–4)
3. Prepare yourself for pain. (Job 3:26)
4. Examine the methods of the manipulator. (Proverbs 22:3)
5. Notify the manipulator of the necessity for change. (Hebrews 12:1)
6. Don’t defend yourself. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7)
7. Expect experimentation with new strategies. (Proverbs 2:12)
8. Nullify your need to meet all of the manipulator’s needs. (Psalm 37:4–5)
9. Commit Galatians 1:10 to memory. (Galatians 1:10)
10. Yield to pleasing the Lord first. (Psalm 56:11)
“‘My food,’ said Jesus, ‘ is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.’ ... ‘For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.’”
(John 4:34; 6:38)
Key Verses to Learn
“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
For the One Manipulated:
“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
For the Manipulator:
“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.”
(2 Peter 1:3–4)
Key Passage to Read
1 Thessalonians 2:3–8
LIVE IN VICTORY!
100+ BIBLICALLY BASED RESOURCE TOPICS
READY TO GO DEEPER?
Be coached and equipped to boost your spiritual strength, experience real relationships, and be the life leader you are.
Want to learn more about our other 100+ topics? Check out the Women of Faith Resources, to discover biblical hope and practical help on these topics. The Women of Faith Resources are designed to help you – and help you help others – overcome difficulties, grow in maturity, and move forward in life.
God desires to give you hope as you face life challenges, problems and difficult trials. The good news for us, God specializes in redemption and transformation. He takes that which was lost and restores it. He takes that which was dead and gives it life. He takes that which had no hope and rewrites its story. This is our God! As you pray today, ask God boldly to transform the thing inside you that you want to see changed forever!
Thank you for your interest and support in Women of Faith. We pray God will encourage, equip, and empower you with His life-changing truth.